It was the second to last time
that I had you,
curled beside me,
chest rising & falling,
slowly & rhythmically
to the beat of
an *****
I wished more than anything to be mine;
but it was not so.

Taste of liquor still
heavy, weighing between
my slightly pouting lips,
I think a part of me knew,
even then,
that this may be the last time.

Convincing myself,
little did I know this effort
had persisted
nearly a year,
green I was
to hope for more.

Yet hope I did.

Your body felt so soft &
melodious
as it gently greeted my own,
lost in its
hidden intentions,
the music that echoed
against
the cement walls
sounded too loud
& drowned out
notes of rhyme & reason.

Today lay I that song to rest
yet not without again
questioning
the senses felt
come the first exposure
to new lyrics, melodies,
and sounds.

The bitter taste,
his sweet recipe
left upon my tongue,
I will never forget,
nor the smell of the
vanilla candles
and soft feelings
of perceived,
believed silkiness,
I now feel the cold, hard
linoleum
as it presses against my cheek.

Sometime they will
pass, leave me;
until then
the second to last time
is too loud
for this time.