The worst of all enemies is in my head
She does not wear a mask or look like a monster
In fact, she is beautiful
Far more beautiful than I am, as she constantly reminds me
She is smarter, sexier, funnier, calmer, more confident than I am
As she constantly reminds me
She knows what everyone else really thinks of me
She knows what they say when I'm not there to hear it
And she's always there to remind me of the silly things I might've said
She doesn't have to hide behind baggy sweatshirts
No, she wears whatever she wants, and always looks beautiful
She doesn't smile very much, but that's because she hates me
"Like everyone else does" she likes to remind me
It's hard to silence her
She especially likes to visit me when I'm alone
Likes to scream at me when I'm curled in bed
Her words as dark as the night around me
She likes to keep me up a lot
When I could be sleeping, dreaming, she reminds me of all the wrong I've done today
How I could've been so much better
But of course, how I never will be
It doesn't matter how late we stay up, she can keep going for hours
But sometimes I've noticed that she doesn't visit me the morning after
When I fall asleep in class, she's nowhere to be found
Which is good, because that's been happening a lot lately
The only way to keep her at bay
Well, not the only way
Me and this other girl in my head, we've found some ways
But the other me, she's young
Not as smart or cool or experienced as she is
That's okay
I like her a lot more
She's quiet, but she pipes up now and again
She usually has nice things to say
Or nothing at all
Which is probably why she doesn't speak up too much
"Not too many nice things with you, are there?" she'd remind me
But the little girl
She hangs out when I'm tired
Reminds me of when I was little
How I could get lost in a book
I've started reading again
She doesn't like that
"Only losers sit inside and read books. But I guess you don't have friends anyway"
Well, that's okay
The little girl reminds me how the sky looks at night
And we go running together
Slow at first, then faster
Then we venture out in the day
She's happy for me
She's not
But the little girl is helping me
She's a little louder now, a little bolder
She argues with her
Sometimes they fight so loud I can hardly stand it
And I stand dazed, eyes glazed, until one of them wins
Lately, she's been losing
Tonight she won a battle
But we're going to win the war