I sense my heart is getting heavier and heavier as the sun rises higher then dips down to the horizon. I really don't know what to do. My mind is stuck. I wish I could be selfish about where I go and what I do. I wish I could let go of this burden that is sitting inside my ribcage. I wish it could speak aloud, and someone would get ahold of me, and all I'll do is cry and cry and scream until my voice becomes throaty and hoarse, inevitably losing to nonexistence. I wish I could just escape from education without actually leaving it. I wish I could postpone life. I wish life would just stop for a moment so I wouldn't worry so much and I wouldn't claim to have anxiety. I wish I could just do all this next year. I really need time to be my friend. And I wish my voice was here. Because it was never here. It was always too stuck up to speak. I wish I could talk to my mom as honest as I would talk to my best friend. I wish I could just tell her what I really want. I wish I wouldn't worry so much about what people thinks. I wish I could be careless and careful simultaneously. I wish when I lift the corners of my lips, it lifts the heavy weight of my heart, too. I wish people would just stop. I wish I wouldn't stress so much even though I haven't really started anything yet. I wish I know what I really want. I am wishing a lot of things. I wish I didn't wish for a lot of things. I just wish I was satisfied with life for once.