Merely a word
Whispered in passing
Perhaps an old thought…a memory
Reminded you of me
And I lifted my eyes
Knowing nothing did matter
Certain that wishes and four leafed clovers
Were just a distraction
Each day the same
Hours upon hours of thinking
Asking those questions
Of only myself, no one else would care
Cautioned on how my I might react
If it happened (fat chance)
You reached out from the silence
And spoke my name…which I believed you had forgotten
~
Then on a humid Sunday
I looked down…unprepared
Dressed in weathered shorts and a faded T
Beneath all that lived above me
You were there
Still beautiful…still you
And you smiled at me and called my name
I looked away quickly
Lost on this ledge of uncertainty
How many times can a heart be broken
And still want for more
As tears well in my eyes
I want to speak, but I have no voice
Not in this direction
Hiding behind the need and the worry
I don’t know what to do
~
I long to scream at the top of my lungs
Sing and dance on roof top imagery
Write poetry again…again (I said I never would)
And I can’t, I just can’t
These walls I’ve built are strong
Simple pebbles formed of every tear drop
Strength cemented through pain
Foundations on not being good enough
And yet my trumpet blares
I can’t help myself…I won’t?
Yelling inside, muted to all listening
Crumble **** it…crumble