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Gigi Tiji
Poems
Apr 2014
Guilt Trip
I'm trying so hard
I don't know what to do
My heart is aching
Thinking of you
A small square of paper
Sits on my tongue
With razor sharp edges
and tasting of dung
It takes me to spaces
Deep in my mind
Where there's too many places
and not enough time
I've been drowned in guilt
and I'm suspended in shame
Repeatedly killed
like in a video game
Written upon
the sharp paper square
are words for destruction
and guilt and despair
It's a trip like no other
you won't even feel high
you'll feel like a bother
and just want to cry
'...You're wrong, you're wrong,
you're wrong, you're wrong
How could you do this
How could you
do this to me...'
I'm floating in place with
no lover to face
trembling, trembling
trembling heart space
I'm spinning in circles
looking for miracles
and it's proving to be
horribly difficult
Trying to fly
with no wings to spread
I crumble and cry
a song for what's dead
the sound of alarms
ring in my head
Take me
cradle me in your arms
Drifting in place
dead in deep space
You left me here with
tears on my face
Crystalline droplets
scintillating pearls
spinning in circles,
spirals, and swirls
Why did you think
to leave me alone
at the cold ugly brink
a frost to the bone
the cold hard shoulder
feels far colder
than a lifeless boulder
I'm cold, I'm
cold
I speak with my music
and these notes are my words
My harp is my voice
and these strings are the cords
I try hard to play
But you've cut them all off
My harp is left bare
naked, unstrung
I'll move all the pedals
But unto what end?
I can't speak my heart
I can no longer pretend
It's time to stand up
and take a great bow
Walk off the stage
The end is
#love
#shame
#guilt
Written by
Gigi Tiji
USA
(USA)
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