I remember the advice
I remember every word
Grandad sat me down and said
Kids should be seen,  not heard
Always turn the other cheek
Unless he hits you first
I'll always wash your mouth with soap
If I find out you've cursed
Always treat folks with respect
Be polite and never smoke
Always use good manners
And don't tell ***** jokes

He smiled when he said this
A little twinkle in his eyes
Don't believe a word of these
They're all confounded lies

No one learns a thing at all
By doing what they're told
I'm talking from experience
Listen son...I'm old

Read the good book daily
But, just use it as a guide
Remember, they're just stories
Not hard rules to abide

Grandad always had a drink
and his pipe was always full
He'd always wink at me
When he was spouting bull

Rules are to be broken
That's just how you learn
Respect is not a given
It's something that you earn

He'd let me sip a little beer
And sometimes smoke the pipe
But, he always took his hanky out
And gave them both a wipe

One thing Grandad always said to me
You always must be clean
People care about where you're going
They don't care where you've been

Grandad gave advice for free
Not the same as mum and dad
The advice I got from granddad
was the best I ever had

I'm almost 84 now
And I'm still breaking all those rules
I've found that those who never did
Ended up a bunch of fools

Remember the good book is for guidance
They're just stories someone told
You can learn more stuff if you listen
To someone who's grown old.