"Check out these fountain pens!
They're so ******' badass,
and pretty cheap, too!"

"What,
like $3
for two of them
at Staples?"

"Yeah, basically!"

"Hah, well,
for the record,
if you ever wanna get me a gift
you can know I'll love and use,
get me a nice-*** pen or two.
That's why I write
with calligraphy pens and brush pens
just for fun.
Though,
I never really know
what to do with them
other than waste ink,
but I ******* love me
some nice-*** pens."