Taking in each breath is hard to grasp. My feelings are torn, I'm empty on gas. I feel like I've cried my last tear. **** what a way to start off my year. I know it seems as if I've lied to you again or that I'm playing pretend. But the way that I'm feeling is confusing again. Am I living a lie? Will I die a question? Into the pits of hell, where It seems that I'm destined? I know I'm a child of God but I've sinned to much. Over and over, with the same stuff. I need to get away, I need to run fast. But I'm empty on gas. Yeaa I know, running isn't the solution. The world is filled with the same things, the world is freaking pollution. It doesn't matter where you are. But that's why I started over. I was on the right track but I guess I fell back. These demands are taking over, like these wars will never be over. Lord please, save me from this disease. I beg you. With you I'm at ease but once I'm alone again I shut down with no means. I feel like cant live no more. No suicidal thoughts. Feel my heart beat, hear my thoughts, I'm learning as I live and that's real. If you understand this then you might understand how I feel.