caught up in the mix
sniffing out my fix
to feed these demons in my head
years of being spun
still I'm not dead

spinning on this endless ride
deep inside the real me hides
I deny the truth it hurts too much
I'm in love with my denial
it makes the sting of unfulfilled desires go away

I'm waiting for my ashes
to be dropped into the bay

wonder if I'll ever learn
this devil inside
is my only obstacle
like to blame instead
**** it, anyways
it's just in my head

a breathing corpse
is what I've become
my soul is dead

as I pretend to think
written in ink
cleverly disguised
all of my
senseless alibis

dreaming of the day
the good lord takes me away
life everlasting
sounds alright
as long as it's not
like these nights
lost in the drama of a user's a paranoia

I'm pulled down into the pit
this abyss of
demons
losers
users
criminals
of every sort
all completely consumed
by their disease

as we all slowly march to our destiny

prison, death, or mental ward
one way dead end
lifestyle
is what I've become
lie to myself
in self-pity delusions
ain't life grand?

lie to myself some more
life is such a bore
yeah yeah yeah