I've been trying for years to get this thing down
The thing they call the marriage game
Been on the alter so many times around
I've given them all numbers instead of names

Well #1 didn't last to long
Blame it on being new to the rules
Thought of her as a slave starting on my wedding day
She thought of me as a mean cruel fool

Through #2, 3, and 4 I was much better
Though I still didn't have it down
#5, 6, 7, 8 I should have dropped after the first date
Then my lawyer bills wouldn't be such a mound

But #33 was always sweet to me
I remember how #42 gave her love away
One thing I did that wasn't dumb was to keep a wedding album
Where I could put a number to every face

It was #84 that was such a bore
Should have stuck with #13 the beauty queen
Or was that #88, it's hard to keep the ladies straight
Perhaps I should study that album in between

Looking back on it now, to the ladies I take a bow
I loved each and everyone like a wife
Treating them like royalty came easily to me
As I gave each and every one of them the best two months of their lives