11/22/2013

have you ever
been so curious
that it kills you inside?

have you ever
been so determined
to find the truth
that you forgot
about everything else?

have you ever
been so unsatisfied
with the unknown
that every second
of every day
you're thinking
of different theories,
different stories,
different beliefs,
that you can
hardly keep your head
******* on straight?

I don't know
how I have lived
for so many years
being so content
with not knowing
everything and
anything
about my own existence

how was I
not ever concerned
with this,
how was I
fine with knowing nothing?

because now,
now,
I am certainly
not fine

I am not
okay

I am not
well

I am beginning
to go mad
from the
unknown

I *need
to know

anything,
and everything
about myself,
about us all,
about our existence,
about the earth,
about space,
about the universe,
about life

I will never
be satisfied
without it

© 2013 Scarlet Van Allen