Sep 23
This is comedy ovah here don't get all pissy. ...
If 50 is the new 30 ?
' , then what the hell does that make 18? …What, negative three? I can’t touch that. That's a felony AND a math problem. turns out Judge doesn’t accept algebra as a defense.
50 is the new 30, huh? Okay, okay, then 18 must be.... the new embryo. ?
Which explains why every time I have to place an order at a fast food joint or something, anytime I gotta interact with these little *******…
dealing with a ******’ teenager these days, am I right?
How do these little ******* even get jobs?
Who would hire them?
They're just like, “Yeah, let's sink the whole ******* business right now slow quit who's with me ? .” Comes with the built-in torpedo. Slow quit ? I got socks older than you .
I feel like I’m babysitting a fetus with cyborg Wi-Fi.
I go to get the last few hairs that I got left cut and
, you know, this one
She doesn't even want to put down the phone.
I'm like, “Are you serious? You're gonna try to cut my hair?”
The stylist’s got one hand on the clippers and the other glued to TikTok. I
’m like, “Sweetheart, unless you’re livestreaming my bald spot, can we focus pls?”
You know, I'm not really crazy about how my ears look up there either, but I would like to keep ‘em both. jeez
Oh my goodness. Can I see the manager?
She fires back , “Well, I thought Karens were all females.”
18? That’s the new ******* rhats what that is ?
. You're not an adult at 18, !
you’re some kind of… a larva with three points on your driver’s license.
50 is the new 30? Yeah, my ***.
And my Pinto is the new Learjet.
50 is the new 30, huh? You know, I don't remember needing so many ***** pills at 30.
But, you know, then again, I AM 50. I don't remember too much.
Cept for I aint really lookin forward to bangin a 50 yr old even if she does try and act thirty.... just sayin ...
Then what the hell does that make 80?
You do realize ... That means my great-aunt Edna must be the newest pin-up girl. ah jeez
Somebody put a lock on the nurseries—***** about to get weird.
Seriously though HOW is it supposed to be like the new 30 anyway?
What are we talking here mentally? Is that supposed to be a compliment?
The new roller derby champion?
great-aunt Edna, posing with a feather boa a long cigarette and a triple olive martini,
suddenly the height of “saggy” **** now ?
Oh God, please tell me that's not a thing.
Please tell me we're NOT doing that. Am I right ?
tip your waitress , try the fish .... I'll be here all week .
If 50 is the new 30 ?
' , then what the hell does that make 18? …What, negative three? I can’t touch that. That's a felony AND a math problem. turns out Judge doesn’t accept algebra as a defense.
50 is the new 30, huh? Okay, okay, then 18 must be.... the new embryo. ?
Which explains why every time I have to place an order at a fast food joint or something, anytime I gotta interact with these little *******…
dealing with a ******’ teenager these days, am I right?
How do these little ******* even get jobs?
Who would hire them?
They're just like, “Yeah, let's sink the whole ******* business right now slow quit who's with me ? .” Comes with the built-in torpedo. Slow quit ? I got socks older than you .
I feel like I’m babysitting a fetus with cyborg Wi-Fi.
I go to get the last few hairs that I got left cut and
, you know, this one
She doesn't even want to put down the phone.
I'm like, “Are you serious? You're gonna try to cut my hair?”
The stylist’s got one hand on the clippers and the other glued to TikTok. I
’m like, “Sweetheart, unless you’re livestreaming my bald spot, can we focus pls?”
You know, I'm not really crazy about how my ears look up there either, but I would like to keep ‘em both. jeez
Oh my goodness. Can I see the manager?
She fires back , “Well, I thought Karens were all females.”
18? That’s the new ******* rhats what that is ?
. You're not an adult at 18, !
you’re some kind of… a larva with three points on your driver’s license.
50 is the new 30? Yeah, my ***.
And my Pinto is the new Learjet.
50 is the new 30, huh? You know, I don't remember needing so many ***** pills at 30.
But, you know, then again, I AM 50. I don't remember too much.
Cept for I aint really lookin forward to bangin a 50 yr old even if she does try and act thirty.... just sayin ...
Then what the hell does that make 80?
You do realize ... That means my great-aunt Edna must be the newest pin-up girl. ah jeez
Somebody put a lock on the nurseries—***** about to get weird.
Seriously though HOW is it supposed to be like the new 30 anyway?
What are we talking here mentally? Is that supposed to be a compliment?
The new roller derby champion?
great-aunt Edna, posing with a feather boa a long cigarette and a triple olive martini,
suddenly the height of “saggy” **** now ?
Oh God, please tell me that's not a thing.
Please tell me we're NOT doing that. Am I right ?
tip your waitress , try the fish .... I'll be here all week .
Its part of a longer routine but you get the idea
