it was her birthday today
i wished her that too in midnight
I stayed up late just to wish her
she took her time but she replied “thank you”

tried to speak to her
her replies without soul
like forcing a new born to speak French

I had drawn a gift card and bouquet of flowers
intended to give her these but after the convo decided not to
wildflowers which I picked with my own hands
she is probably accepting some rare exotics

it’s cold and am deprived of sleep
the smell of flowers fill the room-reminding unrequited love
the gift card is up in flames bringing me warmth
I would’ve want her to have these
even if I froze to death afterwards, I only cared about her warmth

love and life both have lost meaning
all the things I thought about her
are evaporating faster than alcohol

I am poor to date her
rich enough to write about her

:) : this was her last message