[ ] I don’t know why I’m like this. [ ] I’m sorry. [ ] I never meant to hurt you. [ ] The cruelty slips out, [ ] and I pretend it’s not mine.
[ ] It’s not on you. [ ] The storm’s always been mine. [ ] I’m just someone [ ] who forgets how to breathe [ ] until it’s too late. [ ] And I need help. [ ] I always have.
[ ] I’m unraveling, quietly. [ ] I don’t sleep right anymore. [ ] I don’t smile the same. [ ] And I’m scared [ ] of what I’ll lose [ ] once you see too much.
[ ] You’re the only calm I’ve ever known. [ ] But I know how this ends.
[ ] I’m not mean because I hate you. [ ] It’s never been that. [ ] I just push [ ] so you’ll run [ ] before I ruin you.
[ ] I can’t save myself. [ ] But if I scare you off, [ ] maybe I can save you [ ] from becoming part of this mess.
[ ] I want you to stay. [ ] God, I do. [ ] But if you stay, [ ] you’ll see the worst parts [ ] the ones I bury [ ] under shaky smiles [ ] and half-laughed jokes.
[ ] I don’t want to be someone [ ] you pity. [ ] I don’t want you [ ] to hold my pieces [ ] like they’re yours to carry. [ ] You don’t deserve that.
[ ] You’re my best friend. [ ] The only one [ ] who ever made the dark feel less cruel. [ ] The only one I wanted to get better for.
[ ] So maybe I need to go quiet. [ ] Disappear for a while. [ ] Figure it out. [ ] Alone.
[ ] Please forgive me [ ] for being too broken [ ] to be held.
[ ] I love you. [ ] I’ll miss you. [ ] I’m sorry.
This is a poem about self sabotaging relationships- this one is specifically about me and my best friend