Drown me.
Tie a weight to my ankle—
make me claw for breath,
for I am always gasping.

I drown in my thoughts,
in my room,
in the silence that screams back.
Frustration gnaws at the edges of me.

Give me a fairy princess
with three wishes.
I’d wish for contentment,
for solitude,
maybe love.

Love—
what a strange concept.
To seek it is to spiral
through glass walls
and unanswered texts,
through the echo of being too much,
or not enough.

I want to be loved.
Is that so hard?
Is it possible?
Am I that difficult?

Possibilities and difficulties
are the seams of my skin.
An easy life?
How dull.
How dreadfully monotone.
I crave the spiral,
the chaos,
the nightly existential cross-examinations.

Perhaps I’ll find happiness.
Perhaps I won’t.

Drag me under.
Let me gasp for breath.

For I wish to be your pawn
in your well-worn game of chess—
a match you’ve played countless times,
where you already know the ending.
Checkmate me.

Play me.