Tonight I ask God
Why?
What makes me less
Worthy of carrying a
Child
Than parents that
Never wanted
Their kids?
I,
A woman clean of
Smoke and drink and scandal,
Must walk through
Hell
To get what I want,
Whilst others
Traumatize their offspring
With their chaos.
I see the mirror image
Of what I desire
Almost every day.
Yet,
Those that have it,
Have not gone through
What I, God,
Have gone through.
You know this better
Than anyone.
Yes,
I know
I'm not
Perfect.
But what about me
Yields my ability
To create life?
To create it for you, God
Why
Must I feel
This broken?

All I can do is trust You