I don’t want to be the one who knew and didn't say anything.
It hurts
I don't want to be the one who has to tell all our friends
Because it hurts
I don't want to mark a date on the calendar or visit your grave on every birthday you have
Because. it. Hurts.
I Do Not want to listen to a song we once shared and cry instead of you sitting next to me and singing along
It ******* hurts
I don't want to sit at your grave for hours on end because you're not here in person
It hurts
I don't want to call a stone my bestfriend because you are so much more.
God it would hurt.
I don't want to watch your family cry, i don't want to tell your girlfriend and watch her break down
It hurts
I don't want to think back on memories and cry when we could be making new ones…
I love you and i know you're upset
And it hurts
I know I'm being selfish but this time I won't apologize because it's what I needed to do to keep you alive.
And god that hurts..