Do I suffer?
Everything I do, I do wrong.
I can’t even get help.
I want to manifest my pain—
to bleed into your vision,
to force you to see me.

I hate that I’m an inconvenience.
I hate that I could be a problem.
I hate that I cause offense.
But please, please see me.

I need to be loud.
I need to be heard.
I need to be seen.
Please—
just see me.

I’m sorry to ruin your day.
I’m hurting too.
****.
I hate myself.
I might do it.
I might finally show you.

My last laugh:
the silence shatters.
I will finally be remembered.
You can’t ignore this.