i moved to college twenty-five days ago.
i cried the first night, and not a single time since.

the urge to hurt myself on purpose is getting to be overwhelming, but my support system is back home. do i have a support system? i don't want to put this weight on any individual person, god knows it's too much for me.

i need to shake off all my responsibilities, go to a party alone where i don't need to take care of anyone. i need to drink until i can't function, can't think.

half of my soul wants to drop out and move further away. no expectations, no art critiques, no essays. i don't want to have to live up to what i've supposedly chosen to do for the rest of my life.

i need to be drunk.