I miss him.
I missed him.
I miss him now and I miss him then.
in the moment, I was missing him.
he was with me, and I was missing him.

was it worth it?
would anything have changed?
could it be any other way?
will I find him again?
the him he used to be? the him I missed? the one I still miss?

can he be who he was and who he has grown to be at the same time?
can he be better, yet still the same?
can I?
can I be the woman he loves and the woman who broke his heart?

doesn't it contradict?
doesn't it all contradict?
aren't we contradictions?
aren't we ourselves?