sometimes I tell myself to do
a chore
or something else that bores me
a routine command
maybe a task that I don't understand

and I imagine
in my head
a chain of thoughts in quick succession
starting with the ideation
moving forward
ending with


the bridge is out


and I try to push the thought
across to where it turns into
the impulse to reach out my hand
and do the thing I know that I should do
and I decided to
so why can't I just
why can't I just
why can't I just
WHY CAN'T I JUST

no

the bridge is out


sometimes I find ways around it
sneak through my mind
like a ninja
hack my brain into some kind of
twisted Rube Goldberg contraption
or I wait until the deadline
till I'm under so much pressure
I can fly across that bridge
on wings of pure adrenaline

and I look around in wonder
at all that I have accomplished
and I wonder
what would it be like
to always have this gift?

when I think about
how successful I could be
not just a better employee

a better friend
a better daughter
a better sister

I can see a better me
beyond
the emptiness that comes between
what holds me back
and who I want to be

I reach out
I am close enough to see


the bridge is out