When I speak of youth,
I do not mean the wrinkles under my eyes.

I refer to all the moments
That are so far away-
The scents that I can barely taste.
It’s all foggy now;
My skin is baggy now


How come they never told me
How quickly
You are no longer
Young
The world you were presented
Is no longer the real one
&all the cards you opened on Christmas
Are covered in script
From hands that are long gone
When I speak of youth
I speak of sunshine in the afternoon
The whole world feeling brand new
I speak of 90s movies in the living room
My moms hair
Spilling out of a clip
A Virginia slim
Hanging off her lips
She sits on the porch
With her legs crossed
I lay in the grass
After a bad round off
I look up through the branches
&see a cloud that looks like mountains
My brother screams heads up
As a football pegs me for a landing
I sit up and cry
My mom gets the ice
My brother says to breathe
That itll be alright
I blink the tears from my eyes
And when I open them
You’re a thousand miles away
I’ve got a 30 year old face
And my son looks just like you
But in a different way
It’s been years since I knew you were okay
I miss you everyday