It wasn't just one thing

It was the minutes that felt like hours idling in the driveway
not wanting to go inside

It was the solo trips to the supermarket
for some space to breathe
just a moment of relief

It was the feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing that I was running late
and it would end in a fight

It was the time you made me cry on my birthday
or any random Tuesday

It was the not knowing who I was anymore

It was never being enough
because it was never just one thing