A Prayer
Breathe in
Please, God, let this night never end.
Breathe out
I swear I’ll love him forever.  
Breathe in
Bargaining is a step in grief processing, right?
Breathe out
His fingers tips are magic wands.
Breathe in
Maybe your freckles are a map.
Breathe out
I want to bite his nose.
Breathe in
No, dont think about tomorrow.
Breathe out
I can taste the tears on my lips.
Breathe in
Can he hear how loud my heart is pounding?
Breathe out
On his back I silently, repeatedly write “I love you.”
Breathe in
Theres too much space between us.
Breathe out
God please, dont let this end.
Breathe in
Is he trying to fall asleep?
Breathe out
I dont want to sleep.
Breathe in
Goosebumps and sweat, contradictions.
Breathe out
Nothing exists outside this bed.
Breathe in
He smells like heaven and cinnamon.
Breathe out
If tonight must end please god dont let me wake.
Breathe in
The panic starts to set in.
Breathe out
I can see his heart beat pulsing on his neck.
Breathe in
His heart is beating as fast as mine.
Breathe out
My hand cups his beautiful face.
Breathe in
Yet I cant look, not yet, he’ll see the fear.
Breathe out
Dont fear.
Breathe in
Be brave.
Breathe out
Matching his urgency in our finger tips.
Breathe in
Finally look into those golden eyes.
Breathe out
Time stops, breath catches, pure bliss is mine for the moment.

Breathe in, breathe out.