From the perspective
Of improvement I can see
That there was a lot of
Darkness in me
Or mayhap more an absence
Of light,

I am not  
Nor ever have been
A bad man,
But like many "not bad men"
I have done bad things
To people that I love,

And that does not
Sit easy with me,
But looking deep inside
I can see not so much
That I have changed
As regained my true self,

It is as if that bright pure
Core in me became,
Like the hull of a vessel
At sea
Encrusted with ****
And barnacles,

A lack of awareness of
Other's needs or hurts,
A selfishness and unworthiness
Of action and attitude,
Even towards my kin
And she that I adore,

These things encrusted
My good heart,
My core,
With unworthiness
That dimmed the light
That burns within me,

I am like a sailing ship,
Emptied of loose gear and
Run up on a beach,
Masts hauled down and hull
Heeled hard over,
To expose encrusted planks

To daylight,
Then the indignity
Of scŕaping awày that ****
And in front of one I love
To boot,
But I got my brightness back

And now, like
That sailing ship,
I am newly refloated,
Reprovisioned,
In all respects ready
For sea,

And I wait for
A destination,
And - God willing - a fellow
Vessel to sail with,
Preferably in close company,
Or otherwise

Alone