1
I am blinded by stupidity
as though drunk on it
stupidity made to look normal
to me
teetering on toes
unbalanced and moving along
this rough road
I am trying to find a way through to
myself
by the seat of my pants

a hand stretches to me
large and meaty, strong and gentle
yet I hesitate to take
it in mine
what woozy stupidity sees
is always wrong and never true

                    2
my heart is breakened
the way a wave breaks on a wall
shatters into tatters and shards
releases into the outstretched hand
all the hard surface it was
all the soft torn sheets
of love saved in hardness
all the gentled pieces of me sharpened
by betrayal
into shards
and the floods of salted tears
from verbal slaps and punches, stored
like holy water

my heart becomes a cabinet with locks
stuffed with
broken
sharded
pieces of me
in need of kintsugi

                         3
I float
am buoyed by the salted tears
in the Sea of Forgetfulness
the sea where sins are thrown
never to resurface
a riptide of Love
drowns me
tumbles me about
washes me clean
rounds and smooths
my edges
puts me back together
ashore - safe, sound of body
and mind

                       4
I find my way through
with help from
the Eternal Force
warm as heated, crystalline air
soft as a spring breeze
safe as breath on skin
secure as the spirit of a mountain


c. 2023 Roberta Compton Rainwater