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I Don't Want To Die

I don't want to die

 

I just want enough cash to survive.

I just want food on the table,

Clothes on our backs,

And a handful of of happy memories

 

I don't want to die

 

I just want life to be simple,

I just want to run away from my problems,

I just want

I just want

I just want

I just want to

 

I don't want to die

 

I want to not feel selfish.

I just want to take a breath.

To not feel the guilt creep in,

Every time I watch Netflix or Disney.

Every time I try to get a good deal at Walmart or Amazon,

When I buy a burger,

Buy a shirt,

Buy a vacuum,

Buy water

that I'm helping a company further dig it's talons into our soil, our souls,

Our morales trying to take refuge somewhere not in reality

Because this reality can't sustain

A healthy mind

And a healthy wallet

At the same time

 

I don't want to die

 

My mind won't stop screaming.

The mind never quiets,

Never pauses,

Never takes respite.

 

I have locked eyes with something,

I'm not sure what yet.

It waits patiently, though,

At the edge of my vision.

 

It feels like I can't breathe,

I can't breathe,

"Please, bend the knee,

Get off of me!"

 

I don't want to die

 

Gaza is being bombed

Mother's cry out for their children

Father's carry theirs in grocery sacks

The people have been cut of from water, food, electricity, internet

 

I don't want to die

 

But sometimes it feels endless,

Feels like I'll never get my peace,

It feels like I'm carving out a place in the world that rejects me at every turn.

An endless fight, rolling the stone uphill.

And yet, I try.

 

I don't want to die.

 

I want to keep trying.

 

I want to keep moving,

Keep making noise

We need to keep making noise,

Now is the time that we resist

Now is the time that we fight back

 

They can't keep us in the dark anymore

We are seeing the light

Post by post

Video by video

Lived experience, parasocial relationships, live footage

We are watching the horror around the world

As a collective

We can be so much more than individuals, we can rise up

As a collective

 

I don't want to die

 

Sometimes it might feel like

I want to die

But I promise, it's not a permanent feeling

We can channel our anguish into passion

Our passion into words

Our words into action

We have the power of transmutation

We can decide where our story goes

 

I don't want to die

 

I want to fight

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Written by
ellyn-k-thaiden
Published
Nov 10, 2023
Lines·Words
79·445
Notes

Free Palestine. Free Hawaii. Free Congo. Free Puerto Rico. And more. And don't lose hope. We have the power to change so much. We are on the brink of a whole new way of life, where capitalism and patriarchy and religion don't have to rule our lives. We can do amazing things.

Tags
#freepalestine#revolution#freedom#idontwanttodie
Permission

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