Ive arrived in my home and its empty and cold
I feel like I'm empty and cold
I want to hear voices and laughter and footsteps
instead its just silent...
all I hear is the wind whistling through the window that doesn't close properly
The sea outside looks Cold and I don't feel safe.
I don't feel like I can feel "Home" here.
I don't even know what home is?

Maybe home is safety
Maybe home is love
Can you feel those things in a place where you haven't felt safe and where you love vanished.
So I'm here in my house just trying to be and not feel sacred and not feel alone
And to try to get on with my life and do the things I know that I need to/should do to function on this planet.
But I just want to hide, I just want to close the windows and close the curtains, curl up and never be seen again.
That's the energy of darkness.

So what do I do?
I'm sat in front of my computer and ...
I guess ill write a list...
Try and do something.
Maybe I should just try and bring a little kindness to this space of mine.
To myself!
Try and bring a little warmth into this space because no one else is going to be warming it up.
I guess I could put the heating on?
Create a bit of outer warmth
while I try and bring a little inner warmth...
And see if the day gets any easier.
I made some tea...

I wonder if I ask my heart to give me some kind of answer, what it will say?
"Weather the storm"
What does that mean?
It just means, don't worry, keep going...
The storm won't last forever.
Just put on a rain jacket
Stand on the deck and let the wind blow into my face and let the rain fall down on my waterproof Mac.
Know that I can feel cold and wet but that tomorrow maybe the sun will be out and the storm can't last forever.
So just keep keep facing into the wind.
Eyes front, head up
Keep steering the ship into the waves.