I can’t help but smile
Watching that 3 minute video of us kissing
It reminds me of our memories
The good times we shared together

And I don’t know if it’s just me being delusional
But I still smile when I think of you
Yes there were bad times
But it’s as if I’m always focusing on the bad
We had some very very good times too

We had fun
And it was easy
And I really loved you

But now I feel the tears forming in my eyes
I miss the possibility of what we could have been
I miss the way you’d hold me and put your arm around my shoulder in public
Unashamed if anyone was watching — even my friends and family
I miss the feeling of being yours
And I miss when we were good

My friend says it was 2 weeks worth of good
And although there is truth to that,
The rest of it wasn’t all bad

And I miss you.
I just miss you and the you who I started dating
Because we were good and happy and in love
And I don’t know what happened to that

We did have good memories, right?
I was willing to fight the world for you
To make you only happy
But somehow my love turned into annoyance
Why were you always so mad at me? So annoyed?

It’s as if we spent no good times together

And I look back at our photos and videos and see you smile
Why don’t you smile like that anymore when I’m around you?
I had to ask you to face me — ask you to look at me the last time we met up

How ironic that the place we started— when I first met you and drove to your house after I visited that secret gallery on Mother Iglecia, and when I met you again after the time we didn’t talk— after I found out you liked me and wanted to try dating me, and to the point in time where you told me you loved me in the backseat of my car and then eventually asked me to be your girlfriend— would be the place where we ended it all.

I just miss you okay? And the memories we made when we were happy together

I look back on our photos and videos and smile
Although we didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean I wasn’t happy
I was happy to meet you and be with you and to know you
But sometimes we are meant to take our own paths in our lives, one’s that meet at one point but never meet again

We intersect and it’s good,
Until that intersection starts disappearing and we start disconnecting

I look back on our photos and videos and smile
Knowing that the times weren’t all bad
To me, at least, we were happy
We were happy, weren’t we?

I still smile when I think of you
I am sad yes but I’m also happy with the memories we shared

How fulfilling that this prose was made a week after we officially parted ways
I tell myself I’m okay, I’m over it
But am I really?

I am still sad and I obviously miss you
But somehow, in spite of your absence, I am happy

The memories of us replay in my head like a music video, a kaleidoscope of memories, an album of the good times we shared
I do hope you think of me fondly still, despite our partition
Because I sure do and you know I don’t like it when my feelings aren’t reciprocated

I look back on our photos and videos and smile
I really did love you
I’m happy we met
I don’t know if it still applies now but hey,
I love you

(5/29/23; 12:02 AM)