I turned on the faucet and the water started to pour
and then as if my eyes were in sync
they started to pour too
softly at first until I found myself with a dish towel up to my eyes feeling angry at you
Why did you have to do this?
Where are you?!
Look what you have done to me!!
I felt angry for the first time since you left
I repeated over and over to my kitchen sink as I scrubbed at the dishes
that I missed you
that I needed you to say something
that I needed you to be here
that I know you are listening to me cry about you over a sink full of bubbly dishes
Grief is so weird sometimes
how it changes and flows every day
how it chooses at random to grab onto you
and others it gives you space to breathe
It started with wanting to ask you a silly question
and then remembering one faint second later
that you are not around to ask any kind of questions to anymore
and it hurts