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Sep 2013
Trouble on my mind, as my pen cries.
The Sun has gone home, so I sit trapped in the night alone
Listening to sad songs, wishing I can go home, but my home is long gone.
It’s not to my convenience actually its rather inconvenient, and in it I can’t find meaning.
A betrayal of emotions you may deem it treason.
My pen cries blood on the paper and love is the reason, love is the issue.
Well among my issues, the negative in my life is not only mental but physical.
Not only financial but spiritual, so these words I’m giving to you,
Is all I have to give to you, the weight of the world is fine.
Its breaks my back so I cry, but I’m a Man so these invisible tears I hide.
Hope that my shoulders become stronger so I can walk a little bolder.
If only they knew the world weighs me down like a boulder.
Attempting to anchor my life for a little longer.
Though I pray for strength so by the morning I’m little stronger.
In the night she only wants me to hold her.
To soothe her pain, so I take her load on all the same.
The pressure of this stress is getting insane.
Like a potato is in my exhaust, and it’s getting ready to blow my brain.
So I grit my teeth; until I chipped my tooth.
A portrayal of me in truth is a bird that flew the coupe
But the others can’t fly and there’s no rug or magic carpet ride.
So they fly aboard the wings of me, until I fly low, Hold On.
It’s been this way for so long, and I need an outlet.
So I imagine flying on the imaginary rug alone.
My mind plugs into my heart, and finds love, but I’m still alone.
Late night visions of my home it ***** that it’s gone.
Though these memories, hold on,
Like a leech or a parasite gnawing at my dreams in the night.
So I don’t sleep I just think and I write
Continue to fight even though my will was broken long ago.
My hope was taken long ago, but
My faith remains strong so I still pursue on.
Hold on, can you hear it?
My spirit trying to escape and getting no where
Life’s not fair but this enchantment called love keeps me there.
It keeps me here, but my mind wonders.
Thinking what’s up yonder or will I be a father,
When will I be home again?
However I sit here alone again. Wishing for the impossible
Though I was taught everything is possible
So I’m going to hold the world on my shoulders until I’m in the hospital.
Or six feet beneath the Earth in a casket
This isn’t a fear of mine so I find no reason to mask it.
Life is short, but this can’t be too much that I’m asking
My dreams are usually of me getting blasted
Head on the ground face down bleeding out letting life out as it ends.
But what if the world’s on my shoulders and my life ends?
A sad soul to the end even though I’ve grown into a man.
Life is what you make it no matter your beginning or end.
Most wish to do it again, I only wish I knew when it ends.
Jay Bryant
Written by
Jay Bryant
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