if i jot down the first syllable of your name,
think nothing of it.

if i convince myself with a startingly, dizzying
clarity and call it a victory
even if it means losing any semblance of my self-control around you,
think nothing of it.

if i conjure an image of you & i in my head
and pretend we are some depressed intellectuals,
self-hating provocateurs dressed up like some coltish,
out-of-place ivy leaguers waiting on death row,
think nothing of it.

if i'm not careful around you, and slip on the snow
that is the surface of your heart,
think nothing of it.

but if i tell you i love you,
know that it means more than everything that means nothing.