when I was three years old
    I wished on a shooting star that
daddy and mommy would stop yelling
that they would stop hurting and love

    when I was eight years old
I wished on a broken wishbone that
mommy and daddy would fall in love
that they wouldn't dwell on the past

     when I was nine years old
I wished on a swaying dandelion that
mommy would marry this new daddy
and they would never hurt each other

  when I was ten years old
I wished on pretty birthday candles
that new daddy would stop drinking
and that mommy would stop loving this man only for his sober side of life

   when I was eleven years old
    I wished on loose eyelashes that
daddy would give us back to mommy
and wouldn't force us to live with him

   when I was twelve years old
  I wished on a vintage wishing well
that daddy and his wife would stop      
picking at my flaws like futile weeds

    when I was thirteen years old
    I wished on a weightless feather
   that my brother wouldn't leave me
  alone with daddy and fake mommy

    when I was fourteen years old
I wished on the clock that read 11:11
that I wouldn't have to be here alone
that the judge would favor my mom
and send me back to her love forever

     now I'm fifteen years old
     I have nothing left to wish on
but I wish I could stop feeling this way
and stop forming scars on my body
when the days and nights are rough
and I wish that I could stop thinking
about life without my existence in it
and learn to love myself and make it  
  through the night as best as I can

and that maybe one day
I'll make it out alive.
a.c