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Nov 2022
I don’t want to feel this way.
Lost in my own head,
A fog of pain and confusion,
A storm of heartache and void.

I believe there is more than this.
There is sunshine
And hope, my dreams,
My future
And love.

I don’t want to feel this way
Because it makes it so hard to move,
It becomes impossible to smile
To think
To breathe.

I know this is temporary
That darkness is followed by the dawn
Or a flick of the light switch
Or the flash of a torch
Hell, I’ll even take the spark of a match

Because I don’t deserve to feel this way
And I refuse to
Even if I can only fight it off for today
Or the afternoon
Or an hour
Or a minute

That moment will be mine
I am not going to let this beat me
Because I still have strength to fight.

I don’t want to feel this way.
I don’t want to have to fight to stay.
I don’t want to hurt those I love
I don’t want to lose myself.

But I don’t get to have what I want
So fight I must
And even if it's just for today,
Right now,
I choose to stay.
T J Green
Written by
T J Green  32/F
(32/F)   
1.8k
 
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