all the voices in my head
never shut up
they tell me I should be dead
i believe them, im ****** up
i watched my parents fight a lot as a kid
they got a divorce after i grew up
i thought itd break me but im glad they did.
i think i’ll always be depressed
its been years i felt like this
i smoke **** to give me happiness.
my brother tried to **** himself twice
I want to die too
but he survived so i guess so should i.
still every day i cry.
i sound like a loser
i look at old pictures of myself as a kid
i dont recognize her, i guess i did lose her.
not sure where to go from here
all my friends and i moved away
we dont talk anymore besides the occasional “hey”
no one knows me anymore
nothing in my current life is like what i knew before.
the place i live is not my home
the people i know are temporary fixes
to the empty holes that my emotions burn through my heart.
i wish i could bleed
but i dont want to get put on mental health leave
so my skins stays uncut and i stay silent.
all this pain i keep quiet.
i starve myself as an outlet
it gives me control over myself
since my emotions are reigned by hell.