My beautiful, darling, angelic Isla.
My heart is crying a thousand oceans tonight, and it will for days, weeks, months and years I am sure. For over 12 years you were one of my best friends.
Not a day passed when you did not ask after me, support me, or love me.
If the heavens could ask for a perfect friend, they would choose you.
In all those years we never once fought or argued.
You were only ever the strength that completed my need for a back bone, which enabled us ultimately to both get through and fight through life.
To know, as with Elin, you have taken your life, I bleed for you. I ache. The pain is so deeply embedded in my chest that I find myself gasping to even breathe.
I will probably write to you a million times over, knowing that in your place of safety you are talking back at me, sitting by me, answering my prayers.
I am beyond devastated you took your life, one so young, and yet I also know that, despite endless fighting, your demons would not rest. That was never your fault. Your past was never your choice or fault. I love you with all that I am, and I know, every day, you are with me.
I feel you here as the tears hit my cheeks and drip on to the keyboard.
I could never replace you, change you, or ask more of you.
Thank you.
Thank you for gracing my life and saving my life, many times over.
How will I be without you my darling… with me. With me. That I know. I love you, and may you rest in safety, security and love.
All the things you so desperately craved from this world so cruel to you.
Rest in peace princess.

© Sia Jane