People take for granted the fact that they are breathing.
They have lungs that work every second of the day.
They have eyes that can see the colors of their lovers own eyes staring back at them.
They can move and have the choice to hike a rocky mountain for hours.
They have hands that can feel the silk skin of that of a new born baby.
They have a nose that can smell a summer's rain.
A brain, to which they can make their own decisions with.
Yet, we take for granted what we have been blessed with.
As my chest rises and falls every second, I stop to wonder at times
"Could this be my last?"
But even if it was, at least I stopped to give knowledge to the fact that
I was blessed enough to take those breaths.
I hate to admit such a thing a loud.
Do I dare say it..?
Dare say such words that will crumble me again.
Destroy the very being I have worked so hard to rebuild?
You don't deserve these ******* words.
But, no matter how hard I try to remove and destroy the memories of you,
these words just ooze from my very lips.
A cut so deep that no wrap, tape, clothe of any kind could stop the gush.
Starting with my heart, it continues up through my throat,
to my mouth,
through my lips,
to the ground where your very feet stand.
I look up to you, looking in your eyes as you stare down to the cesspool I just delivered.
My heart jumps the giant leap.
Waiting for your answer..
I want someone that understands me.
Someone who gets that Jack Daniels taste like water,
gets that sleep never comes easy.
Someone who knows whats it like to have crazy inspiration at 3:30 in the morning,
who understands the reference, 'Lets do the time warp again'
I need someone who wont get upset at me for ranting about the difference on
Hollywood films vs Indie films
Someone who is as obsessed with coffee,
who gets my love affair for Grunge music.
Someone to understand that its ok to cry,
that I would cry with them.
Who gets that I am a free spirit and will not try to tie me down..
It starts out slow.
So very, slow.
A simple word, name or action just flips my switch.
Starts from my toes, a slight vibration.
Spreads up my legs at a mind-numbing pace.
It heads to my groin, making me twitch with a bit of pleasure and pain.
Then heads to my stomach, making me *****.
Here comes the chest next.
One lung, two lungs and next the heart.
Oh, the heart.
What a fragile thing..
I sag over, my body limp but then comes the jolt of needles piercing the thing.
Tears start their way down my cheeks.
One. By. One.
My voice cries such a scream, like a animal in pain.
Ripping the clothes from my very body, I curse your name to the Heavens.
To love you was enough agony to carry the rest of my life.
My heart has been stolen, my love has been taken yet, I feel no connection or affection. I weep tears of sorrow for I know that I will never see where my heart will jump to tomorrow.
I want you and only you, for I feel so at home when I sleep next to you. Why cant I just fully commit to you? Love the very being of you?
My head is throbbing, my mind is blinded by the very thing I do not wish to see. I want him out, out, out, out, so I can finally breath. I wish to live, I wish to flee from the very thing I do not wish to see bleed.
To love him so dearly yet, to push him further into sea.. I want to turn away from the'.
A blanket of confusion seems to cloak me, as I try to decide which future I want for me.
To bend, to twist and warp your mind into something you can not define. That is their purpose, they want to blind those that can see. To see the truth behind the lies, to read the word that shows the light, is the very thing they wan us disbelievers to feed on to others. To feed onto me, they want to show the very truth we want to see.
Not the truth that is meant to be. Our minds have melted into nothing but mush and gush that can never be rebuilt, or saved from the very thing we fear to this day.
They want to immobilize us, control us for they know we are all weak human beings. With envy and lust, this is how they take hold of us. Using this to our disadvantage. Telling us we are nothing, yet we know everything. That they are instilling and drilling into our brains. they are scared and fear, that we will rise and fight and start a new revolution.