i prayed for this
now i don't want it

the highs fly by and my eyes can't catch any moments
i ride on attention and affection

i spend time between the sheets with people i'm dying to meet
and wake in the morning begging for solitarity

i pathologize my feelings
and
i want to be alone but my thoughts are my loudest company

my brain is stuck in cyclical relentlessness
i speak to myself and somebody else answers