I hold on to anger.
She’s the only one who has ever defended me, 
who has promised to respect my boundaries, 
who’s taken me seriously. 
I hold on to envy. 
She has reminded me of what I wanted, 
reminded me that I was worthy,
reminded me that I, too, should be blessed. 
I hold on to sadness. 
She has helped me mourn the life I
didn’t get, 
the life that was robbed from me 
because I was born to the wrong
family set. 
Anger, envy and sadness have
validated me, 
my lived experiences 
and my grievances
 more than any lover 
or anybody in this world.