My friend
I wish you could know my mind, but
Understanding you would push away
Keeps me from letting you inside

It’s quite the mental irritant
If I get close you’ll grow distant
But even if it’s not your intent,
It’s enough to force my mental defense

And I know you don’t want me to be far
But I can’t get close just to watch you fade.

I’ll stay a phantom
So you don’t have to be one.

Perseverance will not work this time
Because time is in short supply
Departure will soon arrive
Absence will slowly invade my life

Embrace never felt so desperate
Though desperation isn’t a word that fits
No, it’s a quiet determination that makes us stick
An unwillingness to part without this.

I’ll always miss the nights
You were burning in my life
Like the incandescent indigo light
That kept me company when I would write

Every moment slides like a dream.
Your gaze floods me with memory
Our first words float back like a distant melody
Singing all the reasons I’ve ever had to believe in anybody

Your smile brings a strange solace.
Your simple happiness
Is the push behind my lungs as I think all this
It makes you worth the cardiac risk

You won’t read the words I wrote
But somehow I think you already know
As long as my heart beats in this world
You will always have a hand to hold