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River Raras Nov 2023
Tingling dread,
Hear her toothless gasps
Feel her creeping behind


Instinctively turn and embrace her
I love those dead eyes
Some relationships just refuse to die.
River Raras Nov 2023
At best I'm a mess
And at worst my brain's numb
I can never tell if I'm
Melodramatic or honest
I don't think it's just one
River Raras Nov 2023
Stop tugging at my cheek muscles.
Did I ask you to?
We both know how every pull
Pulls more stakes over our heads.

Are they really there?
It's hard to look up to check
Since your eyes are down here
River Raras Nov 2023
There won't be applause when it's all figured out
The scariest part
Happiness must come from within
River Raras Nov 2023
A warm cup of self-fulfillment
Sipped without reservation
Tiny happy decisive droplets of unfiltered choice
Coffee so late is so good

It beckons inspiration,
The old psychic creature that wanders eagerly into empty bottles and evades the capture of contentment and discipline
One must exercise patience to glimpse it when the environment is brightly colored;
Joy is a camouflage to the unbroken
True,
I am unrelenting


The passing clouds give way to brilliant night,
The city beneath is a flattering mirror held to the possibility offered by the stars
And this vessel slides simply between

Though there will be a descent,
It will not be a free fall
If before there was fear of the vast expanse above and beneath,
Then I don't remember why.
Wrote this while struggling with the ups and downs of depression a few years ago, this was during an up. Plane rides always give me clear perspective about my self.

The coffee in the first bit is a metaphor for my divorce and the freedom it offered, and the plane in the last two is a metaphor for my mental state.
River Raras Nov 2023
The first few times we knew,
Honestly
There wouldn't be an exit.

At least, I knew.
There is a somber acceptance that comes with experience

I am already trapped,
Now the panic sets in as something illuminates in the distance;
The one thing we knew would be waiting
Smiling sympathetically.
I know I'll need it.

And now that I can see it,
I think I want it.
River Raras Nov 2023
It's taking all my self control
Not to text you while you're forgetting me
Letting you know how beautiful you are
This goes out to the newly single ones out there.
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