Here we are again,
18 & already broken
I can feel my heart beating in my back
And my throat closing
The air around me dissolving
Disappearing
My lungs are empty
Tightening
Gasping
Shrinking
Inside of me
It's 3 AM
and the night is thick,
wet and warm as it falls
down around me
Street lights reflecting the
left over dew of a humid summer
My limbs are stuck to these sheets
My mind is racing
My head is aching
We all wanna talk about our feelings
But I just want my *******
tonsils to stop being swollen
for one month out of the year
This illness takes a toll
And it's more than physical,
when sleep is perpetually lost
and pain is perpetually growing
Forget the Vicodin,
I'll swallow a bullet
Lay a handgun down on my night stand
I'll reach for it
like the bottle of pills I'm so sick of grabbing