i've got
pills in odd places,
taped to
tops of drawers
in teddy bear tummies
bags hidden inside leather boots

i've got
sticky notes,
all colours,
all over the room
because i can't remember anything
except for what i want to forget

i've got
a calendar,
with appointments in red
doctors, psychiatrists,
an army of people
trying to save me from my own head

and sometimes,
sometimes
it goes according to plan
sometimes i'm happy
and sometimes i still feel
like jumping