After a while, I guess
"Goodbye" is just a word
The sting is temporary
A shocking pain as it rolls off your tongue
But then
Nothing
I've become so numb
So disensitized
Not just to coffins
And cemeteries
But, even
to these cars reversing in my drive way
Loved ones waving from the front seat
I think somewhere along the way,
I convinced myself I was just an actress in a movie
So these things wouldn't hurt so bad
Wouldn't linger
I said,
Here comes the scene where
your tears are expected
Now cut scene
Move forward
The plot is still developing
The only issue is, I am not...
I'm just an actress
It's all pretend
The laughter
The sighs at just the right time
The focused look in my eyes
Nothing sticks
It's all so wrong
So scripted
So twisted
I just wanna feel something real
Again
Deep down I know I miss you
Entirely authentically
But my sentiments got buried
somewhere in this game
Where I fake smiles
Just to please the crowd