let's not discuss
the past, alright?
because there are
    are a few   f l a w s
with the whole
         ******* idea
of this stupid linear
       time
thing
anyway.

i don't like it.
but seeing as how
      i am currently unable
  to grasp time
       in any other way
(not for lack of trying)
i am stuck with this
     past, present, future
*******.

if you fall into the
t r a p
  of the beckoning past...
and you visualize yourself
           quite literally turning
   your head to look
behind you
                           eyes closed
   summoning memory...
you are about to
   encounter
all kinds of problems.

it is hard
when you
  desperately
try to hold onto
        a time of joy
     recall a person
                         no longer with you
a song
      a smell
fabric
      colors
sometimes these help
but...
good luck with that.

your memories
      are as good as
   your brain
                 - or your old photographs
digital images
       videos
   artifacts
            ...but guess what?
it's all in your head.

and your beautiful mind
      is likely playing
  all kinds of tricks
             on you
       making up complete lies
   presenting you with
           non-existent memories    
making mediocre times (at best)
           seem like "the good old days"
it will cast a false golden
      light over everything and
everyone that will cause you
           to           ...    get              ...stuck
        gazing fondly...tearfully...at the past
...everything glowing so nicely
(if only things could be that way again...)

snap out of it!
now you're a melancholy
    nostalgic
 emotional wreck in
this time, just spitting
         neurons all over the place
  thinking about that other time

if you've angrily slammed
   your brain into reverse
d e t e r m i n e d
      to figure out
what the **** just happened and why
best of luck to you
        where did the last 10 years of my life go?
   why did this person die?
             what went wrong?

go ahead and dig
   that **** up
and make sense of dirt.

because dirt makes
   just about as much sense
as anything else.

so there you are...
    frozen in this time
           in an emotional frenzy
   determined and trusting your
       brain to find the answers
  in the past
(because who better
       than you
    can know and remember?)
                              brain churning backwards
                 like an old tape reel
and what have you got?
   more truth
lies
   exaggerations
misrepresentations....
all in your mind
(let me take a moment here to stress a different word)
all in your mind.

all the real life people
    the three-dimensional objects
are moving  a r o u n d
         you and your crazy brain
in space and time
      (which is also moving)

what's the friggen point?!
i know, i know.
(i'm not saying this facetiously)
it's sad
    that the past is gone.
that actual living people
become past -
        that makes about as much
sense as dirt.

my point?
let's just not
    talk about the friggen past...
it's sad, it seems
   no matter
         how you
    look at it.