Will you miss me when I'm gone?
Will you finally admit to the abuse?
Will you ever allow yourself to see my demons?
Now that I'm gone, will you finally see my pain?

Will you ever wonder,
How much longer?
How long did I hold on
How long did I push on
How long did I keep the hope alive
How long I wish for hope.
The hold on pain ends hope?

Will you, now that I'm gone
Think of my pain, my anguish, my battles and my demons?

Will you ever?
Will you ever really love me
Now that I'm gone?

Will you ever love me
For being the mess that I was
Not for the ideal you wanted?

I doubt you'll remember be good
I doubt you'll ever realize...
How heavy my heart has been
Ever since it all started

How heavy my broken heart longed to mend
How heavy my soul felt every night, and every day...

You'll finally have the peace you all longed for.
The reality you lived
Of peace without me
I'm sorry I was so imperfect
I'm sorry I was so undesirable
I'm sorry for many things
But I'm mostly sorry
That you never got to know me
Never got to love the real me
Never got to see me

Finally.. I'm sorry I was me
The me, who had so many flaws
Of which made me so unlovable
To you...

I wish you peace now that you're a family of three
I'm sorry I was ever me...
I fought so hard to burry me
I fought so hard to be seen

I guess sometimes when you seek hope
The hold on pain ends kind of hope

You gotta do it alone...

Layal Charara
10th April 2021
8:54pm