i.
i had a dream there were polaroids of us.
developing sunken and strewn across,
my pink comforter; a soft cosmos.


i saw how happy we were,
you tall and in your glasses,
arms around me and hunched
to envelope your frame around mine.
behold; my real smile.


not where my controlled lips cover my gum line,
to feign the sort of *elationship i experienced
only when we would speak.
would speak.

ii.
shut the curtains.
i don’t even want the sun
to filter in through the fabric
and change the tone of my pale skin.


i want to stay the same,
i want to be exactly as i was
the day you reached across,
felt me, and i touched you.


iii.

i want to hold our whole world
and hand it to you in my palm,
even if mine crumbles.
Atlas bent and crippled from the pressure
i am devoted
to holding you up.
i will not shrug.
(oh, i must move on)

iv.
no. cleanse my home w. white sage
and string along my bedpost
bewitched apples cored. cored.
finally biting into you was like biting



into an apple that hid a star.


and *omitted, how i adore stars.
i lose sleep surrounded by them,
counting them,
staring into mirror telescopes until
my eyes burn and my vision blurs.


i will hold you in my mind’s eye forever.
i will dedicate and devote every motion onward
toward the path which leads back to you.
even if it feels eerily, like eights.


infinity. behold infinity
within the iris of your
half-moon eyes smiling
back in a b e a m.

v.
i’ll race time to the future,
at the far end of our solar system.
first steps cracking untouched crust
of Pluto’s nitrogen snow,
at the center of her heart shaped crater.
look back into time
as the glim of Earth is licked
and flickers the moment



of our first kiss.


like these memories, no more
than a spectacle, a twinkle, in
the otherwise steady shine of Earth
bathed in our Sun’s overcast light.
filtered and shrunk by distance and
gravity as a star I had never gleaned before.


how fortune smiles upon all
who behold you, *omitted.

-six pm | *apples, mirrors, snow