i foresee death, washed up on the shores
of this island of self-pity i have shipwrecked myself upon
the absence of a willingness to change
mixed with my deprecating thoughts
is all i have consigned myself to drinking
knowing that i am unable to handle self destruction as a normal human would.
whereas one might lose themselves to alcohol
or another intoxicant
I chose to reach further and further into the despair that previously has spurred me towards growth
yet now leaves nothing but fumes to continually choke me.
i wonder.
will i spring out of this cocoon of hate?
or make another attempt to end it for real?
go somewhere greener.
be ******* neater.