Walking downtown, accompanied by my old friends Loneliness and Self-Pity,
I catch glimpses fleeting
Between the window panes
Of the curves and edges that make up
Me.
I grapple with how those two people
Two contradictory people
Came together to make up contradictory
Me.
A lump rises in my throat
As the intrusive thought overcomes me:
I am the worst of two contradictory people.
I am his need
To always be the smartest in the room,
To follow my whims and ambitions,
To leave.
I am her mouth drawn shut
Because to share myself is to lose myself
Even though there is nothing left to lose.
I am her need to be in the driver’s seat
To take control
Because the universe has already taken so much.
I have his Wanderer’s heart
But her feet keep me Grounded.
Ah, but you see,
I have taken these things
And made them something completely my own!
Now that I am self-aware,
I overthink these traits until
I am on the brink of Insanity,
Riddled with Anxiety,
And completely isolated in a
Prison of my own making.
Maybe there are people who would help,
But my lips are drawn shut,
And I am good at leaving.
So I walk downtown alone,
With my good friends Loneliness and Self-Pity,
Unsure of whether the wetness on my cheek
Is the falling of tears or rain,
And not caring which one is the Truth.