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Jan 2021
candles burn slowly
but paper burns all at once
i gather up the letters i never sent you
in my charred fingers
the scent of blood and embers
coating my breath like a chord progression

the ink that spilled from my pen so freely
melts just as painless
and through my graphite tainted tears
i hear your name in my voice
and see your skin in the fading sunlight on all hallows eve
so radiant against the decaying trees
you wouldn't let me take a photograph but
i didn't need to. i didn't need to.
i'll always remember you swathed in the golden flames
falling from the sky

the letters are really burning, now,
reminding me of how hot your skin is to the touch
no. now i can feel you under my fingertips
as i tell you about how dead serious i am about faking my death
and moving to the woods
you look so, so alive
at the prospect of pretending to die
and it's then that i realized, that you've been pretending to live
for a long, long time

and i laugh
my teeth flickering yellow with each dance of the kindling
a smile stolen from a memory
and i know that is all i will have of you
just journal entries and photos that i'll never be able to burn
like these letters
because these were just ideas of you
that floated in my head before i could make you laugh
before i memorized the way you smell in the winter
when a fire burns in your house

a fire so much warmer than this one
i put the flame out with an old shirt. how fitting.
basil
Written by
basil  20/they/them/the moon
(20/they/them/the moon)   
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